One Month Later...

Today marks one month since our world was turned upside-down with yet another cancer diagnosis.  Twenty months into treatment, Paige's leukemia came back with a vengeance.  A new mass had silently begun taking over her chest while cancer blasts multiplied in her bone marrow.  Fast forward 30 days.  We have not quite hit remission, but there has been significant progress.  The mass is much smaller.  The blasts are much less in number.  And I am thankful.

After what became a small battle to get Paige comfortable leaving the hospital, we came home for a break before the next round of chemo.  Not knowing how long our next stay might be, we are making the most of this much-needed time of rest.  We have enjoyed meals and game time at home--with all four of us under one roof.  Paige and I fit in some girl time as well.  We had our nails done, attended a Sunshine Kids event, and met up with friends for some art therapy.  Yes, there have been clinic visits sprinkled in--mostly to check counts--but it sure is nice to come home.  And I am thankful.

This week has seen less fun than last.  A bone marrow aspirate, lumbar puncture, and CT scan were performed to see where we stood progress-wise.  Paige has a history of spinal headaches, so we have a pretty decent game plan each time one of these procedures comes around--or so we thought.  For the past two days, Paige has experienced severe headaches she described as "so much pressure it feels like my head is going to explode."  These headaches were accompanied by extreme nausea, causing her to get so sick after today's scan that we headed straight up to clinic.  Our girl was in pretty bad shape--but IV medications for nausea and four hours of fluids provided enough relief to get us back home this evening.  She was able to keep food down tonight and is now resting.  And I am thankful.

Counts are recovering nicely, and it looks like our next hospital admission will begin on Monday.  Paige will once again receive five days of hardcore chemotherapy--a repeat of last month's treatment. The goal is to hit remission this time around and go to bone marrow transplant a few weeks thereafter.  There is so much to process with this detour that we have no choice but to take things one day at a time.  We all still wrestle with the "why" of all this--especially Paige.  "Why, Mom?  Why did this have to happen to me again?"  This was part of our conversation before prayers last night.  I simply told her what was on my heart--that I don't know why it happened to begin with.  That God must have some insanely huge plan for her life, one that we can't even begin to imagine--but one that we must trust even when we just don't get it.  That she is not fighting this alone.  This girl has an army of prayer warriors standing with her, a family that loves her more than she will ever know, and a mighty God who will never leave her.  And we are so very thankful.

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.   1 Thessalonians 5:18