Monday, September 5, 2016

The Struggle is Much Too Real

...suffering produces endurance, endurance produces character, and character produces hope...   Romans 5: 3-5

Our family is struggling.  Struggling with feelings of helplessness as Paige is attacked yet again by the cancer monster.  Struggling to find peace in the storm that is raging.  Struggling, at times, just to remember to breathe.

As parents, my husband and I struggle to harness our thoughts as we watch our daughter fight sickness and pain.  To find the right words when there simply are none.  To put aside (as much as possible) worries about finances and work.  To focus on the here and now--and having our family of four together as much as possible, even if it's limited to the confines of a hospital room.

Our son struggles to find some kind of routine between school and hospital visits.  To get used to being at Grandma's house more than his own--though he is very well taken care of there.  He struggles with questions about Paige getting better and with answers we can't provide.

And then there's Paige.  Her struggle is the biggest of all.  Original diagnosis, relapse, and bone marrow transplant--all with bumps in the road.  A second relapse--this time with what feels like a mountain to overcome.  This girl has been through so very much, yet she continues to fight with everything she has.  Her faith overwhelms me sometimes, but it's no surprise to Our Heavenly Father.  He is here in the midst of the struggle, in the midst of the storm.

Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from Him. Truly He is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.   Psalm 62: 5-6