Are We There Yet?

Are we there yet?  Anyone who's ever taken a car trip has heard--or spoken--those words.  We're all about getting to the destination.  At least, that's been my mindset lately.  First round of chemo after relapse--Are we in remission yet?  Second round--I know we're closer, but are we in remission now?  Are we there yet?!?  Think back to those car trips.  Each "No, not yet" reply gets more and more frustrating.  You just want to get there--wherever there may be.

For our family these days, there is remission.  There is getting to transplant.  There is cell engraftment.  There is passing the all-important 100-day mark.  As you might guess, we have many stops along the way as we travel toward the ultimate destination--Paige being healthy again.

We aren't there yet.  Paige's bone marrow biopsy last week still showed a slight percentage of leukemia blasts.  It was less than 1%, but the team wants it basically undetectable before transplant.  They felt the best course of action was to hit those last pesky cells with some hard chemo.  Over the course of 6 days, Paige will receive 5 drugs (some multiple times) that by themselves are rough.  She is getting them in one big block.  Needless to say, our girl is feeling pretty crummy and has spent much of the last 24 hours in bed--and we are only on Day 2.  We usually spend our inpatient days on schoolwork, games, crafts, and visiting with other friends on our floor.  We aren't there yet.

Once the block is finished, Paige's counts will bottom out yet again.  We will stay here through count recovery, which could very well mean we won't return home before transplant.  Our family is still trying to process the fact we are going to be separated longer than we anticipated, but we are keeping that end destination in our sights.  We are aiming for many more holidays together, so we will get through this season the best we can.

No, we aren't there yet--but we are on our way.  There are sunny days, and there are cloudy days.  There are stops we plan, and there are those we don't.  The journey is tough, but we stay strong in faith as we travel this road God has laid out for us.  He has a plan for Paige, a plan for our family.  We just have to wait---because we're not there yet.

The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him.   Lamentations 3:25